However, its not often that I have to stay all night by myself. Normally someone else is here, and I have peace knowing I'm not the only one in the house.
Tonight, unfortunately, is one of those rare nights when I'm going to be home all night.....all alone. This happened a few weeks ago, but I was already asleep when my brother left the house, so I didn't mind. But tonight, I'm wide awake.
I had an amazing day out with friends, and tried to forget that I'd be coming home to an empty house. It didn't help matters when I pulled in the driveway at 9pm and discovered that I had forgotten to leave the porch lights on. Brilliant.
I considered staying at my sister's house where there would be lots of people. However, with the many changes taking place in this household, I decided that I needed to get used to staying by myself.
I thanked the Lord for the mini flashlight on my key chain, walked (very quickly) up my sidewalk (which seemed a mile long tonight), fumbled with the keys at the door, kicked the cat out of the way, and locked the door behind me. I leaned my head against the door so thankful to have made it inside :) Yes, I know, I'm pathetic!
And that's when it hits me. Its quiet. Eerily quiet. I don't like it!
After closing the curtains on all the windows, I turn on some music, hoping to kill the quietness.
Fail.
That scares me more knowing that I could be covering sounds of someone on my porch.
...I told you, I'm pathetic, but I really don't like being home alone all night.
So I turn off the music.
Here I sit, trying to decide what I can do to make this a little less creepy. There has to be something.....
Everywhere I look in my house I am reminded of my Mom; obviously, this was her house too!
What would Mom tell me to do in a situation like this? That was an extremely easy question to answer since I am creeped out very easily, and had asked her what to do about this many times in the past.
Her and my Dad both would advise me to turn to Jesus. That seemed like a great suggestion, since I was sitting two feet from my Bible huddled in my bedroom. (Which happens to be my 'safe haven') This house feels as big as the Taj Mahal when I'm home alone.
Sitting down on my bed with my Bible in front of me, I pray for peace of mind.
I head to proverbs, which is normally where I start when I'm not sure where to start :) I find a pretty cool verse and decide to see how The Message says it. This was also easily accessible, since my laptop was also in my safe haven :)
In The Message Proverbs 1:33 says:
"First pay attention to me, and then relax.
Now you can take it easy-you're in good hands.”
Sometimes all it takes is that little reminder. Its something that I have known all my life, but in this instant, its exactly what I needed to hear!
I laughed at myself for being so silly!
So now I can relax and might actually be able to fall asleep tonight :)
Even though the wind is making weird noises on my window, and the water cooler in the kitchen sounds like someone knocking on the door, I can take it easy because I know I'm in good hands.
Have a peaceful night, and enjoy your Sunday!
2 comments:
I was setting up chairs alone in our church gym last night and the wind kept blowing just enough to rock the doors, annoying
So we are alone, but never alone.
We walk by faith not by sight or the fact is we would all have very good logical reasons to hide under the covers
Good job turning to the God of the Bible and allowing His living Word to speak to you. ONWARD
Something that use to help me when I was getting use to the along time. I made my favorite cup of hot tea, found a book (or sometimes a movie) that was light hearted or funny, got my most comfy jammies and curled up in the big chair with a blanket. All those positive things put a positive spin on an uncomfortable time. If I had to do work around the house, I would turn a good cartoon movie on (i.e. Beauty and the Beast). The best ones usually had music involved.
I know it's tough, but you can do it. Keeping you in my prayers.
Dana
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