I arrive at work approximately 15 minutes early each day so I have time to do my personal Internet stuff before logging on to the server for the day. I then stay 5 minutes late at the end of the day to check it all again, for I know once I leave work there will be no more Internet for me until the next morning.
That is why, very sadly, it has been an entire month since my last post! This is by far the yuckiest part of the lack of Internet service in my temporary home.
I love to use this blog as an outlet. When I'm just having one of those days, or I suddenly feel inspired, my first instinct is to write about it. So the fact that I don't have the ability to do that whenever I want is a little sad.
So when my boss sent us all home early today due to the office road flooding and beginning to trap us all there.....who wants to get stuck at the office all night......I left and headed for my sister's house thinking, "I have time to blog!".
And here I sit. Our ladies bible study is starting and 30 minutes and the house is quiet as all the kids are playing quietly and reading books. I have a month worth of posts all jammed in my head, and all I can think about is Mom.
My nephew sang her favorite song at dinner tonight.....
Celebrating a birthday without your mom isn't so fun.....
And I plain just need a mom hug.....
My employers wife and adult kids were all in the office today, and as I sat there listening to them interact, laugh at each other, crack jokes, say 'I love you Mom', all I could think was that I can't do that anymore.
Talking about your Mom in past-tense all the time is no fun. I so cannot wait for the day I get to see her again!
So, I take this extra Internet time I have not to post about everything I have stuck in my head, but to write about my best friend....my Mom.
I had a dream about her last night. It was so real, so vivid. It was one of those dreams that feels so real that when you wake up you have to remind yourself it was just a dream. But she was there......and I thank God for putting her voice...her beautiful face...her personality...for putting Mom in my dreams.
Not having her here everyday is just a reminder of what is to come and I believe with my whole heart that I will see her again!
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6 comments:
Oh, Kristin, this is such a beautiful and sad post. I haven't checked your blog in weeks and, to my surprise, you had just posted :)
Hoping everything will settle for you soon as you make your way to the next milestone or stopping point on your path. Windows and doors open all the time and we just have to be ready for the next time one opens or closes. Hang in there...
Love and hugs to you,
Cindi Emerick
that dream was a gift of grace
Know that I share your pain, Kristin. I miss my Mom too. It is sad that my younger girl has no real memory of my Mom and how much she loved and adored them. Dear sister in Christ, it does get a bit better with time. Your loss is fresh and it takes time to come to a point that you can look back and see the happy times and look forward to the day you are with her again. Yes, you will miss her always. But at least for me, it doesn't hurt near as bad as it did when I first lost her. You are in our thoughts and prayers. We love you!
Treasure those dreams too. The first time it happened to me, I was a bit disturbed. Now, I yearn for those occasional (but always God-ordained) encounters with Mom. : )
Felicia
So sorry, Kristin---I should have read this before you left so I could have given you a hug! Not exactly the same, I know.....but I love you too!!
Hugs to you Kristin.
I hope you all had a good Bible study tonight.
Rhoda
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