In church this morning during the worship service, I suddenly had that feeling of being a fly on the wall.....like you're watching what is going on from a distance.
Suddenly, the sanctuary was empty, save for one person. There, walking through the aisle, was my Mama. She was praying. And the closer I looked, I saw myself, laying on the pew fast asleep.
Mom would spend hours at the church each week praying. Often times, when I was in the midst of my 'illness' she would take me with her, because she did not like leaving me home alone.
I remember spending hours with her there. Because of my medicines causing insomnia, by the time morning came around and Mom would be ready to go to the church to pray, I would be so tired! So I would ride along, and end up falling asleep on the pew......best sleep I ever got during my 'illness' was in that sanctuary.
So I watched myself lay there, fast asleep. My focus then moved back to Mom. She was praying, crying, pouring her heart out to God. Walking back and forth, her focus never left her task at hand, which was connecting with God.
Then, I watched as she walked toward the pew I was sleeping on, and she stopped right beside me. She laid her hand gently on my arm, and cried. She prayed. She spoke to the Father in Heaven about Me.
And just like that, it was over. I was once again standing in my pew on Sunday morning, in the middle of worship service. All the people were back, and the music was still going.
For the past 8 months, its been hard to imagine my life without Mom.
Its hard to make decisions without her advice.
Its hard to meet new people knowing they will never know my Mom...how I became the person I am.
Its hard to imagine moving into my apartment without her help.
Its hard to imagane Life!
But somehow knowing that before her death, she was praying for me...for my future...brings me peace. Even though she isn't here every day, I know she had already been thinking and praying for me.
I can move through each day knowing she had talked to God about everyone of them. Even after her death, my Mom's prayers are still alive. Moving with me and my family through each new breath we take.
My Mom was Super Mom.
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2 comments:
Beautiful, before I was "terminated" at Salem, I went to each doorway and prayed for each child in the house I was a house-parent in and I felt the hand of God, leading and receiving those prayers for the future of those eight lives. I am positive your moms prayers are indeed part of the "increasing grace" of your life.
They live on, as does she.
Beautifully said, Kristin. I think that just as Chuck said her prayers continue on after her life, I also like to think that those who have passed on before us are also with us themselves. Of course we can't know that but knowing she is one with Christ now, and having Him with us, in a way you know for sure that she is. Keep the faith. Your story and your pain is a huge testimony to everyone around you---we can all see Him leading you through it and even making you stronger.
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