Worry vs. Faith

I am a Worrier. 

I can't seem to help it, so I'm pretty sure its just in my nature. I can always find something to worry about. 

Over the past few months I've had a lot of worries on my mind. Basically lots of stuff to do with Mom. I won't name them all, because that would be a long list, but here are a few:

• Was Mom in any pain during everything that happened?
• Is there something else we should have done to help her?
• Was she scared?
• Could she hear me when I said "I love you Mom"?
• Could this have been prevented if she had a pacemaker?

A person can go crazy worrying about all this (and those are just a few). If I thought I worried a lot before, I'm triple that now. The sad part is worrying about this stuff will not change what happened. I know this. Sometimes I can convince myself not to worry about it, but that never lasts very long.

Ever since Mom passed away I'm unable to sleep in a dark room. My mind wanders and I can't fall asleep. With the room as bright as day, I'm fast asleep, but a dark room keeps me up. So I've been sleeping with my light on EVERY night since then. However, I live in a house with family who can't sleep with lights on. Therefore, this past Friday, Dad and I went shopping for a MUCH smaller light to keep in my room. No, a night-light won't do.....not bright enough ( In know, I need to fix this problem!).

So, we're looking around in the home decor department for an appropriate sized lamp when I see a very pretty picture that says

Worry Ends Where Faith Starts

Ever feel like God is trying to tell you something? I know from way deep down in my heart that God is in everything. He knew what was going to happen, and He never left Mom's side. I'm learning to put my worry aside, and remember Faith! Keeping all those happy memories going, and letting God take care of the icky-ness.

Even though that picture appeared at just the time I was looking for a lamp to keep my mind from wandering and worrying at night, I still gave in and bought the lamp. (Actually, dad bought it. I guess he was tired of not being able to sleep because of my light :) )

It's a work in progress, although it may be very slow progress. I'm putting my worry to an end so Faith can step in!